Why men date other marrieds?
Talk about a loaded theme that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on from ancient times. Affairs can be filled with evils, cause sadness, and other harms. In addition you must wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty issue, money, age difference, faith upbringing, shame, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I should classify an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, married women for dating.
Why do married people have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seeking extramarital affairs. I am sure mainly though it is only the human state, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
In nature we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and fun, and sex makes us get away the world for a short period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Somebody are able to turn the longing on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos culture has erected against extra-marital affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will defeat their worries and make them risk the fury of not only their family, but society as well. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, maybe some of us are. Sex is terribly good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not harm your relatives or anybody else? You will need to minimize the risk you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is advantageous to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the biggest grouping, huge in fact. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, except they are comfy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to consider. Your assets are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be as a family besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them completing the sex performance, at least not with their spouse. An affair occasionally solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage intact.
Neglect, sorrowfully this is a ordinary cause I fear. One or the other, usually the husband is sexually neglecting his wife for a multitude of reasons. As a man I truly am grateful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them accessible to us guys of romance, making them “hot wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, could be compassion is gone, could be it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Maybe we have simply developed apart, our relulas interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposed to of what you want. Maybe I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for financial gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.